


Not Alone

by That_WriterChick



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Non-Canonical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 17:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4188105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_WriterChick/pseuds/That_WriterChick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke's people are trapped inside Mt. Weather,and her ally (and possible love) Lexa just betrayed her. So she runs away to the comfort of the dark forest for a moment of peace. Lexa finds the Sky Princess in tears and tries her best to comfort her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this way back before the season finale and it's definitely not following canon events but I'm clexa trash and wanted them to share a moment after Lexa's betrayal. Hope you enjoy! Don't forget to comment and give kudos if you enjoyed!

Clarke sighed, and buried her face in her hands. Clarke never wanted any of this. She was supposed to have lived and died on the Ark, Clarke thought. She guessed she probably would have married Wells- maybe even been a mother. Clarke would have been a doctor, like her mother, she would have helped people. Clarke swallowed hard as she was reminded that now she was incapable of saving her people, of helping her friends. Letting her hands fall to her sides Clarke surveyed the unknown woods around her. It was dark and she saw nothing but shadows. Clarke liked that it was dark, she felt like she could lose herself, like maybe the darkness could give her a moment's peace. Clarke sighed, she never would have met Finn had they all stayed on the Ark. She would not have met Raven or Octavia, or Bellamy for that matter. Clarke would not have met any of her friends. Clarke felt her stomach turn, she had to save her friends.

Clarke was exhausted of leading, and she did not know how she had become in charge of so many lives. She closed her eyes and saw her best friend's limp body. She should have protected Wells better. Clarke swallowed hard. Then she saw the 48 inside Mt. Weather, wondering why Clarke had not saved them yet, wondering if Clarke even cared about them anymore. Clarke saw the 48, along with Raven and Bellamy, all dead. Dead and with only one person to blame, herself. Clarke felt the tears welling up just behind her eyelids. She closed them tighter, she did not have time to cry she told herself. Then she thought of her mom, she did not have a clue where her mother was. For all Clarke knew Abby was dead already. She felt the hot tears sting against her skin. Clarke could no longer keep up her facade. She did not know what she was supposed to do now. She had given it her all and had failed. She had not been enough.

But Clarke had been so close, so close to saving them all. Then Lexa turned on her. The commander of the twelve clans had left Clarke alone to go against the mountain men. Clarke had been so angry with Lexa, she still was angry at Lexa. Lexa had betrayed their alliance. Clarke sniffled and wiped away some of the tears. Clarke understood why Lexa had done it, Lexa's people had always come first to her, Clarke understood that. Hell, Clarke had even asked herself what she would have done had she been in Lexa's position. She did not give herself answer though, she was not sure she would like it too much. Still, the betrayal had hurt Clarke in more than one way. Clarke shook her head. No, she did not want to go there, not right now. She did not have time to analyze whatever feelings(romantic or otherwise) she had for Lexa.

Now Clarke had no idea how she was supposed to save her friends. Clarke realized she hadn't stopped crying. Her tears had transformed from tears of sadness to tears of anger to tears of hopelessness. She felt incompetent and she hated feeling like that. Clarke started to sob loudly and she took comfort in knowing that no one would hear her. She was far enough away that no one would find her for awhile. Clarke started wiping some of her tears away again, a futile task but nonetheless she wiped and wiped.

"Clarke," a familiar voice called.

Clarke stood up and spun around. There was Lexa, torch in hand, looking more worried than Clarke had ever seen.

"I didn't hear you coming. How did you find me?" Clarke asked of the Commander as she wiped away the rest of her tears.

Lexa gazed at the trees past Clarke.

"I followed the sounds of your cries," she confessed.

Clarke felt her face get warm then she stood up straighter. "What are you doing here Commander?"

Lexa felt an invisible hand twist the knife in her stomach. Clarke had always called her by her name not her rank.

"Your people could not locate you, they got worried of course. So Octavia came to me and asked if I had any idea of where you might have gone. I told her I did not then looked for you myself," the Commander explained, her voice even.

Clarke felt her anger at Lexa return. "Why? You don't need me anymore so why do you care where I am?"

"I was afraid you had done something stupid," Lexa rebuked.

Clarke couldn't help herself. "Yeah, you kinda already beat me to that," she spat.

Lexa's face softened and she stepped closer to Clarke. Clarke took a step back.

"Don't come near me," she growled.

"Clarke I had no choice," Lexa told her.

Clarke stared at Lexa in disbelief. "But you did! You did have a choice," she screamed, her voice cracking.

"What choice was that Clarke?" Lexa asked sarcastically.

"You could've stuck to the plan!"

Clarke had unknowingly stepped closer and closer to where Lexa stood. Now the Commander was only two steps away. Lexa swallowed hard.

"You could've stayed with me," Clarke said, her voice haunted by what could have been.

She searched Lexa's face for some type of reaction but found none.

"Clarke...believe me I wanted to..but my people..they come first and we both know they would've been slaughtered in there," Lexa replied, her voice wavering.

Clarke tasted salt on her lips and knew she was crying again. Lexa wanted to reach out and touch the sky girl but she was not sure Clarke would want that. Lexa wanted to comfort Clarke but was not sure how. Clarke let out a stifled sob, and not being able to hold her pained Lexa even more.

"I...I understand why you did it Lexa," Clarke confessed.

Lexa was not quite sure how to react at first so Clarke's words hung in the air between them for a moment.

"I knew you would," Lexa finally replied.

Then, it was more silence for the two leaders. It was not an uncomfortable silence. They realized, as they looked into each other's eyes, that the silence was more of a confirmation. A confirmation that they cared for one another(albeit to varying degrees) and that in that moment they both wished to be anyone but themselves.

Clarke's feet were getting tired so she sat back down at the bottom of a nearby redwood tree. Lexa sat next to her, close enough to feel the electric surge passing between them but far enough away so she wouldn't do anything stupid.

"I didn't ask to be in charge of so many lives," Clarke whispered.

"You're a natural born leader Clarke, same as me," the Commander reminded the sky girl.

"It seems to come so much easier to you," Clarke said and turned to face Lexa.

Lexa half smiled. "I've had years of training."

"I don't know what to do,"Clarke admitted.

Lexa said nothing because she did not know either.

"I'm sorry things didn't turn out how we wanted them to," Lexa confessed.

Clarke stayed silent. She was not ready to accept any apologies. Lexa sighed.

"I will go let Octavia know you are okay. Do not worry I will tell her to give you some time alone," Lexa said as she stood. "This is not goodbye Clarke," she said and began to walk away.

Clarke bit her lip, unsure of what to do. She only had seconds to decide. Clarke closed her eyes and sighed.

"Wait," she called after Lexa.

Lexa stopped walking. She turned but did not walk back. Clarke opened her eyes and got up. She turned to Lexa.

"Stay...please."

The Commander felt her entire body telling her to stay with Clarke but her head was reminding her that it would just make leaving Clarke harder. Clarke took a step towards Lexa.

"Please Lexa," she said helplessly.

So Lexa stayed. The Commander nodded slightly then walked back to her doomed heroine. Clarke needed Lexa to stay. She needed someone right now. She needed someone to steady her because she felt like her life was in a free fall. Lexa sat back down, Clarke did the same, and they sat in silence.

"They're all going to die," Clarke stated gravely.

"It's not your fault Clarke, you didn't kill them."

Clarke frowned. "I couldn't save them either."

Lexa tentatively reached for Clarke's hand.

"You will think of something, you are one of the smartest people I have ever met."

Clarke laced their fingers together. She stared at their hands and smiled as Lexa ran her thumb softly across the top of Clarke's hand.

"It will probably be something stupid and dangerous," she joked.

Lexa smiled softly but didn't speak. Clarke looked up. Lexa was staring at her, green eyes drinking in the entirety of Clarke Griffin. Clarke looked down at Lexa's lips. She was staring, she knew that, but she was confident that Lexa was doing the same. Clarke leaned in. She knew deep down that there was a good chance she would not make it out of the mountain. So she was going to allow herself a final moment with Lexa. Their feelings for each other were complicated and their timing had been off but still, Clarke felt something, something strong, for the commander. So Clarke leaned in and slightly parted her lips. Lexa did the same and at first it felt like the first time they'd kissed. They started out slow and soft , their lips gently pressing against each other. But now Clarke needed a little more. Clarke knew she could very well die in a few hours and she did not want to die with regrets. So she let go of Lexa's hand and dug her fingers into Lexa's hair. Clarke kissed Lexa harder and deepened the kiss with her tongue. Lexa was surprised at first but quickly adapted. She put one hand on the back of Clarke's thigh and the other on Clarke's back. The longer she kissed Lexa the more Clarke let herself go. The anger inside her rose up again, she wanted more, she wanted control. So she pushed the grounder back against the tree and straddled her. Lexa's hands moved to Clarke's hips and she pulled the sky girl to her as much as she could.

They kissed until their lungs burned and even then they grudgingly came up for air. When Clarke pulled away to catch her breath the guilt finally hit her. Her friends were dying. and instead of coming up with a plan she was making out with Lexa. Clarke felt like she was on the brink of tears again so she shut her eyes tight and kissed Lexa again. Once again she saw the 48, along with Raven,Bellamy, and now her mother too, dead. They were dumped into large crates and left for the reapers to eat. Lexa tasted salt on Clarke's lips and immediately pulled away.

"What's wrong Clarke?" She asked as she wiped away some of Clarke's tears.

Clarke shook her head and kept crying. Lexa pulled Clarke close and let her sky girl cry into her chest. Lexa kissed the top of Clarke's head and held her. They stayed that way until Clarke stopped crying. Clarke pulled away from her slowly.

"Thank you Lex," she murmured.

Lexa smiled at her and wiped some final tears away with her thumb.

"I know you'll save them Clarke."

Clarke said nothing but nodded. Then she rested her head on Lexa's shoulder. She let herself be held for just a few more minutes. They both had to leave, both had to go but the leaders let themselves stay for a few more minutes. As the minutes passed they knew they had to leave one another soon. So Clarke kissed Lexa one last time...no, this won't be the last time, she thought to herself. Clarke got off of Lexa and helped Lexa stand. Clarke gave Lexa a hug and when they pulled apart Lexa grabbed Clarke's hand and pulled her back. Lexa stared intently at Clarke.

"Please do not do something stupid..at least not alone," Lexa said and squeezed Clarke's hand.

Clarke smiled as she rested her forehead against Lexa's.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Silence enveloped the star crossed lovers in a welcoming embrace. They wished they could stay in each other's arms just a moment longer.

"I have to go Clarke," she heard Lexa whisper.

"Not yet," Clarke pleaded.

Lexa sighed, she knew this would happen.

"You will get through this Clarke," Lexa assured her.

Clarke shook her head.

"How can you be so sure?"

Lexa pulled away from Clarke, a smirk on her face.

"Because you have to, you promised to come see me in Polis."

Clarke smiled.

"I don't think I ever promised that."

Lexa shrugged.

"You promised it more or less," she replied.

Clarke laughed, a genuine laugh for which she would feel guilty for later.

"Okay," Clarke said, giving in.

Lexa looked at Clarke and tried to memorize every inch of her face. She knew she would see Clarke again she just did not know when that would be. So she wanted to have a perfect memory of the girl's face, caked with mud, blood, and streaked with tears but nonetheless beautiful. Lexa would remember Clarke's piercing blue eyes and her golden blonde hair. She would remember the salt on Clarke's lips and the endless amount of words that went unsaid between them. When Lexa was done memorizing her sky princess she gave a slight nod.

"May we meet again, Clarke of the Sky People."

Clarke smiled.

"Yeah, we are far from over."

Lexa looked Clarke over one last time, handed Clarke the torch, then walked away in the direction she had first come.

Clarke's smile disappeared and reality came seeping back in. She took some deep breaths before she set out back to where she had left what remained of her people. Clarke stopped when she saw Lincoln and Indra standing a few feet away, looking around like they were waiting for something, or someone. Clarke approached them slightly apprehensive.

"What are you two doing here? Shouldn't you be headed to Polis with Lexa?"

Lincoln looked at Indra, Indra shrugged, then he looked back at Clarke.

"The Commander sent us. We are yours to command Clarke," he said dutifully.

Clarke smiled as Lexa's words echoed in her head, _"Don't do something stupid...at least not alone."_

 


End file.
